Depression, No Sex And No Money: Should She Walk Away?

Why are men’s mental health struggles so often dismissed until they reach crisis point?

In this episode, Niall Boylan talks to callers about a difficult listener dilemma involving marriage, depression, money and the limits of emotional responsibility.

A woman has written to the show about her husband, who is in his 40s and says he is depressed. He is self employed, but has stopped looking for work, spends most of his time at home and appears to have lost interest in almost everything, including himself. His wife says she has supported him for months, attended the doctor with him and encouraged him to seek further help, but she feels he is making little effort to change his situation.

Their relationship has now deteriorated badly. They have not slept in the same bed or had any intimacy for a year, they are struggling financially and the household is surviving entirely on her income. She says constantly dealing with his depression is now affecting her own mental health and she is beginning to wonder whether she needs to leave the marriage while she still has a chance to rebuild her life.

But where does compassion end and personal responsibility begin?

Is she being selfish for considering leaving a husband who is clearly struggling, or is it unreasonable to expect one person to carry the emotional and financial burden of a relationship indefinitely?

Niall hears from callers on both sides and asks a difficult question: When somebody you love is depressed but appears unwilling to help themselves, how long are you expected to sacrifice your own happiness to save them?