#005 Irish Mammies, The Oul Wan Behind The Curtain & The Damn Immersion

In this week’s Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall Boylan and his wife Karen are back with another hour of marriage, memories, Irish madness and the kind of arguments that only make sense when you’ve been together long enough to know exactly which buttons to press.

They revisit some classic Irishisms, including The Irish Mammy: Medical Expert, Threatening Authority and Household Dictator, where Lucozade, flat 7Up, Vicks and Sudocrem apparently cured everything, while a spit covered hanky could remove half your face. Then there’s Irish Weddings: The Greatest Freak Show on Earth, complete with Uncle Johnny’s shirt hanging open, Auntie Mary dancing like she’s in Ibiza and children asleep across three chairs while the adults slowly lose all dignity.

They also tackle The Irish Goodbye That Takes 45 Minutes, Irish Parents, the Immersion and the Household Bills, The Irish Family Holiday That Nearly Ends in Divorce, The Irish Neighbourhood Surveillance Network, Things Irish Parents Would Never Throw Out, Irish Nightclubs and Discos When We Were Young and Things Irish Couples Pretend They Don’t Argue About.

And that’s before things really go off the rails.

This week’s listener dilemma involves a husband who won a hamper on a work night out and then gave it away to a female colleague. His wife was absolutely furious. Was it a harmless act of generosity, or did he cross a line by giving another woman something he could have brought home?

Niall and Karen also discuss the relentless misery that seems to follow the Joe Duffy show, an escaped snake in Glasgow, the neighbours from hell and the extraordinary discovery of a collection of gold bars, which immediately sends Niall into a rant about how unfair it is that somebody can find a fortune and still end up talking about a finder’s fee.

Then Karen reveals that a friend had a dent removed from her car, giving Niall the perfect opportunity to explain the dent repair process in far more detail than anyone asked for, while discovering that almost every technical term involved seems to have a hilarious double meaning.

It’s marriage, nostalgia, arguments, embarrassing memories and complete nonsense, all in one episode.

Don’t Call Me Darling with Niall and Karen Boylan. Real marriage, real stories, real laughs and real truths.