Lovebugs, Libido and Lying Husbands EP: 009

This week on Don’t Call Me Darling, Niall and Karen Boylan ask why women refuse to believe a man can genuinely be thinking about absolutely nothing, and why “You pick the restaurant” actually means “Read my mind and choose the one I have already picked.”

Would you tell your partner that you hate the way they dress, or keep quiet while they leave the house looking like a badly packed charity bag? Niall and Karen also discuss men, testosterone and why some would rather suffer in silence than admit their body might need a little assistance.

Niall remembers learning to drive in his father’s 1979 Ford Fiesta, while Karen recalls her Alfa Romeo days. There is also a Fiat with no heating, a leaking exhaust and a hole in the floor. Luxury motoring at its finest.

Karen spots two flies joined together at the bum while flying around Florida. Apparently, they are called lovebugs. Ahhh, how romantic. Even the insects are getting more action than some married couples.

They also investigate Italy’s proposal to fine pedestrians who cross the road staring at their phones, Donald Trump’s apparently darker hair, and the tiny protected Doonbeg snail causing enormous problems at his golf resort. Has the next James Bond secretly been chosen, and could Slow Horses star Jack Lowden be the new 007?

There are quick DIY teeth whitening tricks, and the important question of whether they whiten your teeth or simply remove the enamel. Niall and Karen also examine the surprising household dangers that begin appearing as we get older, when a loose rug becomes a potential assassin and getting out of the bath requires planning permission.

There is also the so called honourable husband who cheated but apparently deserves a medal for staying, the benefits and dangers of couples sharing their locations, and a listener’s dilemma involving a husband getting far too saucy with Alina the Ukrainian.

Plus, if you knew something shocking about the bride or groom, would you object during the church ceremony, keep quiet forever, or wait until after everyone had eaten? Expect marriage, mistrust, bad decisions, inappropriate behaviour and plenty of laughs.